Coping with Loss

Another loss

feeds@yuku.com (Padme Marie) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 14:23:25 PST

I am not sure if anyone here remembers me. I used to be here a lot some years ago. I was here 4 years ago when I experienced a loss at 14 weeks. My Liam died 4 years ago May 22. I recently experienced another loss June 4 th of this year.

It's official.

feeds@yuku.com (YodaGirl81) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 15:38:39 PST

I've posted most of this as an update in the pregnancy forum, but I figured I'd post here, too.

I'd been spotting on and of since Thursday. The dr on call had me come in yesterday for an hcg level check.

My doctor called me this morning. He wanted to see how I was doing. He was also very surprised that they had not done an u/s yesterday, so he scheduled one today. I asked about my hcg levels, but apparently they don't normally check them...or at least they don't normally do a quantitative. He says that they usually just take the woman's word that she had a pos hpt.

Went in for an u/s at 10:45. The u/s from the 24th measured the sack at 4w 1d. It looked healthy. The u/s from today measured the sack at 4w 3d and collapsing. It was also detached and toward the bottom of my uterus.

He said that about 50% of m/c are...

Three Years Ago Today

feeds@yuku.com (Padme Marie) — Sat, 22 May 2010 14:33:43 PST

Three years ago today, May 22, 2007 I lost my baby Liam. I can not believe that much has passed. Today Ryan and I went to the cemetery. I think we have mostly healed but it still hurts and we still miss our baby man.

Just wanted to give everyone in here

feeds@yuku.com (Sammy Anne) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:06:57 PST

A BIG HUG!!! All those who need it because of a loss, and all of those wonderful friends that are here for comfort.. THANK YOU!

I think it's over

feeds@yuku.com (windys1975) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 07:25:47 PST

Hi Ladies,
It's been 4 weeks since the D&C, and i think i finally stopped bleeding/spotting. But i'm still passing tissue from my lining, also long EWCM lines with some old brown blood. Hopefully when i start my BCP'S Sunday
it will stop it all. I have my moments still but it's getting better.
Thank you all for being here for the support.

D & C Over--Emotional Rollcoaster Truly Beginning

feeds@yuku.com (mrsbiggle) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 06:36:28 PST

Fortunately, I am only spotting, and the cramping is comparable to moderate menstrual cramps, but I reach down to my stomach and know there is absolutely nothing there. Everyone keeps saying, "I'm sorry" or "I don't know what to say" or "It happened for the best". Really, I'm sure it might have happened for the best, and I'm sure as they are telling me, "That was just your way of getting rid of something that was going to be wrong", but it hurts to hear that the baby that was growing (however short a time period it was) inside of me was wrong or that I got "rid" of it and that was "for the best". I know I am not supposed to ask questions, and that I wasn't very far along, but it hurts deeply and sometimes I just want people to shut up, but I am the type of person who smiles, nods, and says "Thank you." even though I want to reach through the phone or wherever they are, slap them, and say,...

NEVER EVER AGAIN

feeds@yuku.com (windys1975) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 06:49:23 PST

Will i have a d&c. this is ridiculous i am on my 12th day of bleeding. i never bleed this long even with my Natural M/C. I hope it stop's soon. but i'm not counting on it to stop anytime soon.

???? about d&c

feeds@yuku.com (windys1975) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:14:19 PST

hi,
I just have a question about bleeding and cramping after a d&c. hope someone can answer.
ok i had my d&c last thursday and for the last 3 days i have been having bad cramping like contractions every few mins. that lasts for awhile until i cant take it anymore i take some pain pills. before i have these cramps i have light spotting to nothing at all. but once the cramping starts i start bleeding more not tons of blood but darker red and light flow with little blood clots. is this pretty normal or should i be concerned?
the way my doctor said i shouldn't bleed for long only some light spotting for a few days if that. and i know each D&C is different for each person. i'm just worried about the cramping contractions.
thanks for all your help and info you can give me.

They would be 3 and 4 years old now

feeds@yuku.com (countrymom1104) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 11:27:12 PST

I don't talk about my babies very much, if ever, my former partner and I were speaking of our lost babies yesterday as a matter of fact, and both say that it was a very hard time in our lives.

It wasn't until I saw a counsellor that she helped me to truly grieve my little ones, and although I still feel a sense of emptiness in my heart, I am greatful to at least know what it feels like to be pregnant, and to not wonder "what if". I know that my journey is over, for my only route is IVF, something I just can't afford to do that, plus I have had to start my life completely over these last couple of years, and I really feel like I am finally coming into myself.... a painful road yes, with many lessons, but I know in my heart I have two babies that when my time is finished here, they will be waiting for me. I think it is they who send me my pets, and the love they have for me

I miss...

another loss

feeds@yuku.com (windys1975) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 08:28:22 PST

hi all,
i'm here to say i just had my 2nd loss since may, i lost my first one at 8w1d naturally. this one i'm going to have a D&C. never had one before so i have no idea how i am going to deal with it. i had an u/s yesterday and thought for sure the baby was fine since i was 11 weeks along. come to find out the baby had stopped growing 3 weeks ago and no heart beat. and no sign of m/c on my own so the doctor told me it would be best to get a d&c done. i still feel very pregnant i'm just now going pee alot and my breasts this morning just got huge. along with all my other pg symptoms. i can't believe my baby is dead i keep telling myself the doctors are wrong and my baby is just fine. so maybe i should get a second ultrasound thursday before my d&c. but then i think it's no point and just get it done and over with and stop holding onto false hope. i am so emotionally messed up right now and i can't even think right now. i just want to go to...

WHY?

feeds@yuku.com (Sammy Anne) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:38:49 PST

I never thought that this would happen to me!! Right now I am so mad and sad.. I just wish this never happened. Does the feeling of loss ever go away? I feel like know one really understands. They all say well its probably for the best. There was something wrong with the baby. I DONT CARE!! I just wish that it didn't happen and that the baby was healthy and still growing in my womb. F! I hate feeling so weak. I hate people to see my pain, but i dont think that i can hide it.

I wish that someone told me that a miscarriage hurt so much. It broke my heart into a hundred pieces. And the physical pain was not anything i ever expected. My poor baby is gone and i feel empty... and I am more sorry than ever to everyone that has gone through this. You never really know until you do.

Thanks for letting me get this out. There is know where else to do it.

Todays the anniverssary of my first loss...

feeds@yuku.com (AnnMarie from liverpool uk) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 04:04:06 PST

its been 8years...i miss you so much not a day goes by i dont think of you and your brothers and sisters in heaven...Love you so much Mummy x x x x

Love and Hugs x x x x

How do I deal with this?

feeds@yuku.com (scamp) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:17:18 PST

Hi ladies,
I found out 2 weeks ago today that I miscarried at 7 1/2 weeks, and I had a D&C the next day. I've been handling things pretty well, I thought: this was my second miscarriage, but I have a beautiful daughter and I'm hopeful that I can get pregnant again soon despite my age.

My problem: one of my closest friends is 32 weeks pregnant with her first child. We work together, we talk almost every day. I've been her #1 support person thru a rather difficult pregnancy. Only now, I am having trouble filling that role. I still managed to put together her baby shower at work, which was exactly a week after my miscarriage (only 3 people at the shower knew I had miscarried, so it was not a really awkward situation, just emotionally not fun for me). Now she wants me to help her finish shopping for the baby, and tells me all kinds of details about what the baby is doing, etc.--things I would normally be excited about, but right now I just don't...

May 22 (Fri) It will be 2 year that my Liam is gone

feeds@yuku.com (Padme Marie) — Wed, 20 May 2009 17:52:16 PST

I can not believe it is 2 years already on Friday that he will be gone. I still think of him every day but the thoughts are more peaceful and I have let some of the pain and grief go. I can go to his grave site now for a few minutes. I think he would be happy that I have picked myself up.

Thinking of Ace on his 1st Heavenly Birthday

feeds@yuku.com (krazy1972) — Sat, 02 May 2009 11:48:10 PST

For anyone who takes the time to read this, please say a prayer for Rick and I. Today would have been Ace's 1st birthday, a moment we should have been celebrating with him and all of our friends. I can imagine the big party we would have had. I imagine it must be such an exciting milestone to plan for. Instead, we are sad, planning to scatter his ashes, and trying to comfort each other. It feels like a goodbye all over again.

I will always be so proud to be Ace's mommy and so in awe of the miracle he was for us. We have happy memories of him while I was pregnant, and sadness as we had to make the choice to let him go. Please keep us in your thoughts because there is so much pain and grieving still in our lives.

Thanks

some thoughts for my brother and sister in law

feeds@yuku.com (webbermac) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 09:58:49 PST

I just received a text with my Brother letting me know they lost the baby last night. This is very tough on me this was my first neice or nephew. I feel so heart broken for my Brother. Hillary my SIL was 10 weeks. I really don't know details. But please say a little prayer for my family and for Brandon and Hillary. I know they really need it.

Thanks.

Darcy....

feeds@yuku.com (tracy4) — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:27:19 PST

Hi Darcy,

I left you a response on your thread about "Please pray for my family." I am so sorry that I am so late in replying to your email to me. I got a virus and lost your original email.

Please accept my condolences for your sweet baby Georgia. I know how painful it is and am here for you any time that you need me.

God bless,

Tracy

My baby should be turning 1 today

feeds@yuku.com (hunycomb) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:27:13 PST

I can't believe it's been this long but I was due 12-18-07. I miss her so much and this Christmas is so hard for me. I keep thinking that I should be chasing her away from our tree, keeping her out of the presents and planning her 1st birthday party. This sucks!

sigh

feeds@yuku.com (brianjen) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 12:48:29 PST

I lost the baby. I started spotting brown blood a few days ago and today it's red. My beta was only 14 yesterday. I guess the worst part is.....when I go to the bathroom and I see blood or clots in the toliet (sorry..tmi) I feel like I am flushing my baby down.

2nd anniversary-

feeds@yuku.com (bebe2006) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 22:46:58 PST

Today is the 2nd anniversary of my little angel's due date...