Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP. in Adoption Support Forum

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Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.

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Sydangle2	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.		Lead	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 2681 07/12/2007 6:54 PM	Tags : None Remove this ad After a lot of research w/ different agencies & such. Finally narrowed it down to 2. Both are within our budget. Both have an average wait time of 1 1/2 years But on the plus side the wait time as you know is always variable....... who can tell; if we get matched in a few months or if it turns out to be more than a year. I wonder though.......if during that time if we are allowed to keep TTC naturally?? What if I get pg? is that allowed? & since we will need a homestudy I wonder if I would be allowed to change jobs?? I heard when the homestudy commences you don't want to make any big changes like job changes. ****I have a pretty good job lead right now & if they offer my current wage or greater; I'd like to take it. Does that look bad cuz I'll be in my probationary period as 'they' are evaluating my gross income in the homestudy? I don't want to put my entire life on hold or pass up a good job lead by staying in a job i don't want for another 1 1/2 years..... cuz of this homestudy thing if I don't have too. Polly can you offer any insight? Me 39 Dh 38 TTC since 02 MC x3 12/03 7/04 2/07 Total tyroidectomy 1/03 RE 5/05 PCOS 6/05 6 rounds Clomid 2 IUI's
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LoveMyBullmastiff	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#1	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 213 07/13/2007 12:22 AM New Member	Hi Sherry! I'm not Polly, but I am a very-soon-to-be-adoptive mom. I haven't done a domestic adoption, but I do not believe there is any agency that would tell you that you cannot TTC naturally during the wait. As for changing jobs, life goes on - my life has changed again and again during the wait for my daughter. Homestudy agencies do understand that life and circumstances change. Best of luck!!! ~Roni
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Sydangle2	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#2	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 2681 07/13/2007 6:53 AM	Cool Thanx Ronni ...........I figured since I'll make sure I ask for the same amount of $$ or better .......... why would it NOT be ok? I suppose I could ask the agency I decide to go w/ if that would present a problem. I just don't want anything to stop us from adopting. Me 39 Dh 38 TTC since 02 MC x3 12/03 7/04 2/07 Total tyroidectomy 1/03 RE 5/05 PCOS 6/05 6 rounds Clomid 2 IUI's
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Pollywaffle	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#3	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 16986 07/16/2007 9:10 AM Mommy to a Russian Prince	Sherry what Roni said is exactly true! You can do whatever you want, change jobs, quit jobs, it's really not that strict as far as the homestudy goes. I don't work, and DH just had to have a letter from his boss (which is him ) on work letterhead stating what he earns. Don't worry too much about the $$$$$ You can definitely keep TTC! In the past I've heard crazy stories about agencies dropping clients because they were doing IVF cycles while waiting for adoptions to come thru, but if that happened now I honestly think they'd have a law suit on their hands I just want to say though......1 1/2 years is a pretty long time. I would hate for you to have to wait that long to be matched. I know it could be quicker though......please tell me, is this an agency who has a waiting list and matches you when your turn comes around, or is it an agency that has you do a Dear Birthmother letter and lets the Birthmother choose from a selection of them?
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Sydangle2	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#4	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 2681 07/16/2007 6:26 PM	I called 5 places & 'they all said average wait time is 1 1/2 years. Dh is limiting us to the area I live in to find an adoption agency. He wants to be able to sit down & talk to the agency. That's not entirely a bad thing but I have got some agencies that don't fit his criteria .... that could get us a baby sooner & still at a reasonable cost. So even if the agency is nation wide & has offices say in Ca, Colorado, & texas & can do business w/ other states ...... he won't go to them. I found 23 agencies in our area. & I'm slowly working my way through the list. ........... it's a long tedious process & no place seems to say any AVERAGE wait time under 1 1/2 years. .......... Keep in mind all say the time is variable & a lot of it ofcoarsre depends on the birthmother as to weather or not we are a match. So some have waited only weeks, to months................... it depends I guess in that sense it is in gods hands 'when' it happens. BTW- The one agency I like so far does have 'dear birth mother' letters. photo listings, Services for the birthmother & a website w/ forums~ for support as your going through the process. OF All OF THE AGENCIES THEY SAY THE AVERAGE WAIT TIME IS 1 1/2 YEARS............. THIS ONE SAID 2 YEARS. ****But what I don't get is the 1 1/2 year one does have photolisting & Dear birthmother letters..... but it seems all of them use the word 'networking' & show you how to 'network' yourself better........... Uh hello I thought you were finding us a birthmother??? that is one of the reasons why I'm paying so much. The first one I investigated was great on the surface...... for domestic infant they offered you the moon so to speak...... & a baby in less than 9 months!! ................. but my goish they wanted 33,000 dollars!!!! ......... NEEDLESS TO SAY dH & I both weren't to keen on that. & that amount is equivelent w/ international adoption in the way of cost. I woke up late this afternoon ( worked last night )..... so I didn't get to make any phone calls today I'm going to make a meeting & talk w/ these people.........The one I'm interested in said they will sit down & meet w/ my Dh & I anytime to discuss the process. We'll see...............so much of this is 'hurry-up & wait' & we've just begun... Me 39 Dh 38 TTC since 02 MC x3 12/03 7/04 2/07 Total tyroidectomy 1/03 RE 5/05 PCOS 6/05 6 rounds Clomid 2 IUI's
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Pollywaffle	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#5	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 16986 07/17/2007 10:31 AM Mommy to a Russian Prince	It's a lot of work huh? All I can tell you about is the place DH and I chose in Los Angeles. They are a group of adoption attorneys. We paid them about $8,000 and on top of that we would need to pay birthmother expenses, which as you know can vary greatly! We made a Dear Birthmother letter but decided not to go on their website, DH and I are both quite private people. When they have a birthmother they don't send her any more than 20 letters. Anyway, 2 days after sending them a stack of Dear Birthmother letters, they had sent one off to a birthmother and she chose us. It was amazing. Ultimately we decided not to go with this birthmother, for many reasons, and continue on with our Russian adoption, that was kind of underway at that point. We'll sign back on with that agency again if we decided to do another adoption. So, that's the only story I've got for you. They say they have an average wait time of 9 months, which is why 1 1/2 yrs sounds a long time to me. But maybe that's more of an average Good luck with your search, I know how tedious it is!
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Sydangle2	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#6	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 2681 07/17/2007 3:48 PM	Ya know the funny Part is the agency I fell 'in love' with on paper was the one that promised a baby in less than 9 months. ......................................... & they can't even send the mail they promised me. ............SO FAR IT IS 10 DAYS & COUNTING. AM I WRONG? IT IS COMING FROM CALIF........... THANK GOODNESS i DIDN'T SIGN UP W/ ANYONE YET CUZ THEY ARE THE 33,000$ ONE. (If they can't send me mail how can they help finalize an adoption. ) BTW Polly I really appreciate being able to talk w/ you (& the others girls in this forum ) about all this adoption stuff ........... sometimes ya just need to vent......... I don't think my DH knows how much time I've put into this For him his BIG contribution might be "ok Sher I like that one too." Don't get me wrong he wants our family too but it seems I'm the one making it happen right now.................. oh he'll get his turn when the baby comes home...... Heee Heeee. Me 39 Dh 38 TTC since 02 MC x3 12/03 7/04 2/07 Total tyroidectomy 1/03 RE 5/05 PCOS 6/05 6 rounds Clomid 2 IUI's
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beth7919	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#7	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Platinum Member Over 30,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 35364 08/14/2007 11:47 PM Drew's Mommy! Find me @ cs.yuku.com!	how exciting sherry! it will happen..i'm for you! Angels lost: m/c 8-22-03 m/c 10-3-03 m/c 3-25-04 trisomy 17 d&c-baby girl Drew was born: 2-12-05 We nursed for 28 months and 9 days...what a WONDERFUL time! ~Crochet Baby Blankets by Beth~
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Pollywaffle	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#8	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 16986 08/15/2007 4:55 PM Mommy to a Russian Prince	Sherry is the one in CA called Adopt Help?
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Sydangle2	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#9	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 2681 08/19/2007 10:13 PM	Remove this ad Nope ..... but good news I believe we're closing in on an agency to help us w/ the adoption here in PA,,,,,,,,, we chose to work w/ a facilitator if we are accepted there is some compitition not everyone gets chosen who applies...... but if it works out..... they have an excellent track record babies for all in under 1 year. We're turning in our application shortly. & should hear word if we're accepted shortly in the meantime we'll apply for our clearences .... & get the homestudy underway.... I've started to gather pix for our profile ............... aaaaaaaaaaaah so much to do. & clean this house it is overwelming but our baby may be right around the corner.................................... Me 39 Dh 38 TTC since 02 MC x3 12/03 7/04 2/07 Total tyroidectomy 1/03 RE 5/05 PCOS 6/05 6 rounds Clomid 2 IUI's
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Pollywaffle	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#10	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 16986 08/20/2007 10:55 AM Mommy to a Russian Prince	it is overwhelming! Just wondering if any of your research you found agencies that specialized in older children? Glad you're found an agency and the best of luck - I'm sure you'll be accepted!
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gabersmom	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#11	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 1768 09/17/2007 8:41 PM	Sorry to butt in but I work for an adoption agency. I'm usually on the TTC board but I thought I'd wonder over here if anyone needs help. It sounds like Polly has a lot of information but if you ever need information on foreign or domestic adoption, I'm an adoption consultant for a national agency. I'd be happy to answer any of your questions. I'm always interested to hear EVERYONE'S story with ALL agencies for different programs - foreign and domestic. Shauna
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Pollywaffle	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#12	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 16986 09/18/2007 8:16 PM Mommy to a Russian Prince	Shauna please tell us about your agency. Do you use a wait list process or submit Dear Birthmother letters to birth Moms? I've not used a domestic agency as such, it was an attorney and he submitted Dear Birthmother letters.
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gabersmom	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#13	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 1768 09/18/2007 10:10 PM	Polly - The agency I work for uses a Dear Birthmother method for our domestic program. BUT we have two separate programs. Program A is mostly Caucasian children with no known health issues, "normal" babies. Couples submit a Dear Birthmother letter and the hurry up and wait process begins. It can be anywhere from 12-24 months. (We over estimate just in case, that way, if a couple gets chosen earlier, it's a pleasant surprise.) Program B is wonderful but it has it's drawbacks. Program B is filled with "harder to place" soon to be born children. This means they are born to mothers that may be drug addicted, in jail, or worse. These babies are ALL either African American babies or mixed with African American. In rare occasions, a Program A baby (see above) may be born and test positive for cocaine and it automatically becomes a Program B baby. The plus side for Program B - wait times are significantly faster. In fact, sometimes, believe it or not, we have more babies than families to adopt these special guys. The program fees are also significantly lower since these children are "harder to place." The process is the same with a Dear Birth Mother Letter, but sometimes the birth mothers just don't care, and since there are so many of these at risk situations, it's harder to find families for these babies. Wow, I just went on and on. After I posted before I thought I'd violated the NO SOLICITATION rule after reading the "Things you should read before you post" bulletin. So I was a little nervous. I promise I just want to help. No solicitation from me.
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Pollywaffle	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#14	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 16986 09/19/2007 1:52 PM Mommy to a Russian Prince	No - it's fine to post all that. We don't even know the name of your agency! It's all great info and could definitely help people reading it. If someone is inclined they could always PM you for more info about your agency Really interesting stuff. In which state are you? Also, if the birthmother and adoptive parents both reside in the same state does it rule out the need for a homestudy like it does in Calif? What a rewarding job you have
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gabersmom	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#15	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 1768 09/19/2007 11:11 PM	Thanks! I love the job. It's super flexible which helps with my 9 years old and for any future babies that we would be blessed to have. We also have a "Waiting Child" program with older children, children with special needs, and sibling groups. In fact, yesterday and today I've been working with a lady who's interested in a sibling group of 3 from Taiwan! It would be so great to get these guys adopted and TOGETHER in the same family. If not, their chances of being adopted at all are slim. So I'm pulling for them big time! Home study requirements vary from state to state. Generally, a home study is done in every adoption because it's a state requirement. I was unaware of the California law. I'll have to ask tomorrow. I live in Arizona where our headquarters are. But we have offices in Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Colorado as well. Along with these offices, we have in country associates for all of the programs we offer - Guatemala, Colombia, Brazil, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Taiwan, China, Vietnam, Nepal (On Hold), Ethiopia (Opens in October ), and Russia, our largest program. By the way, your boy is GORGEOUS!!!!
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daisybaby00	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#16	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 5747 09/20/2007 4:31 PM Casey&Winnie's Furmama	Your Kentucky office could potentially be closest to me....does your office place children out of the state? I am in TN.
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Pollywaffle	Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#17	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 16986 09/22/2007 2:35 PM Mommy to a Russian Prince	Thank you! I think he's gorgeous too His birthmother was half Kalmyk which is where he gets his dark skin/hair, and as you probably know, very unlikely a Russian family would take him with that coloring. In fact, he was not a 'favored' child at the orphanage because of his looks Is your agency currently awaiting reaccreditation from Russia or has it happened again for you? We had a real drama adopting from Russia and got stuck in the middle of a reaccred mess a few years ago when it was taking so very long to get the agencies back up and running. I'm surprised Russia is still so huge for you with everything going on. What regions? Sorry for all these questions. Just tell me to shut up at any point!
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gabersmom	Re: Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.	#18	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 1768 09/28/2007 9:25 PM	Remove this ad It's touchy with Russia. We're still waiting for reaccred and we're usually one of the top agencies to get there. Our founder is actually from Russia and adopted from Russia so she's got the inside scoop from what I know. The explanation I got for Russia is that some regions are still easy to release what we call Waiting Children - those children who are older and need a family now. It's so much harder for them to get families due to their age! I was told by the program director for Russia and Ukraine that Kemerova (sp.?) was still able to release children with no problem. But we also have two other orphanages and I have no idea how to spell them. Apparently, even the waiting children are stuck there until accreditation. I've heard that it's just a lag on Russia's part and that it should happen soon. But then I've also heard that Russia's population is dwindeling and they're reluctant to let "their" children go and that's why they're dragging their feet. Too bad he wasn't "favored." All the more for you!!!
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Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.

Just an update on the adoption stuff.~POLLY HELP.