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Lisa, I have thought about you so many times. I imagine you after all the friends and family are gone and it is just you alone with your DH in your bed and I think about how the thoughts of your baby boy must flood your mind and devastate you............Im so sorry that you have a nursery set up for your baby and you go in there and it is empty.........Im so sad when I think about the diapers and clothes and other items that were laying in wait for him to come home..........and there they sit day after day waiting............it is just so sad.

It is very painful to think about your longing to hold your baby after he was delivered and that you relive that agony that you never got to hold him..........Im so sorry...........my heart just breaks when I think of your loving family.

I had something happen to me years ago in the hospital that ended up having a better outcome than yours, but it could have gone either way...........I ended up being very sick for a long time and had to have a lot of emergency care because of the doctor's carelessness...............I was encouraged to take legal action but didnt.........mainly because I couldnt muster up the energy to pursue it..........and because I wanted to heal and I was afraid that process would keep me from healing........

I wish I would have pursued legal action..........the main reason is because I wonder so often if another loving mother will go through what I went through because I didnt do anything about it.............did they learn from the mistake they made with me? I dont know........I will never know. I didnt want money, I just wanted them to pay more attention and follow procedure............they went home to their families that night and held their babies and laughed and talked and ate dinner..........I was in the hospital without my baby for a long time and my whole family was devastated..............they never thought once about the misery and pain and suffering they brought to my family for years to come because of what they did...........I feel badly that I didnt take a stand for someone else............that is what bothers me the most today. Now that it has been years since the incident, I cant help but believe I would have healed more quickly had I pursed action against them...........to this day I am still very affected by that incident and the fact I did nothing really bothers me and keeps me feeling helpless and victimized..............I just had to share my thoughts with you.

We love you and we are so sad about your loss but very glad you seem to be having some good days too!!