Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids? in Moms of Many Forum

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Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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mommieof2girls

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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Posts: 2825

10/01/2007 5:25 PM

Mommy of 3 girls!

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I am a SAHM. I have no real life friends anymore. My husband works 12 hour shifts on the days he works. He is not one to sit and talk anyway when he is home. He seems to be pretty uptight lately. lol I can't leave the house without my almost 3 year old throwing a tantrum from hell. If I leave then I feel guilty. No one around here has any respect for me and I have lost all authority with the kids. Just a how are you feeling today would be nice! Whew....

Can you tell that I am a hormonal mess right now. I am tired and feel down. Geeze....I need a break. I get this way every few months when I just get so wore down from everyone's demands. I am going to have to get in touch with a baby sitter soon! I have one that hopefully will watch them....then I have to worry about spending the money to pay her and for us to go out! My MIL will NOT watch them for more than 2 hours....she lays that out there really fast! And that is when she doesn't have a date. LOL

OK, I just really needed to rant and rave for a min. You guys are honestly the only friends I have that I talk to! When I calm down I will go back and feel stupid for writing this! LOL

Jessica (me) 31, Adam 30, Em almost 11, Liv almost 3, Addie 1 Baby #4 due March 24th!

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mommieof2girls

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/01/2007 5:37 PM

Mommy of 3 girls!

Just wanted to say that I love my babies dearly and wouldn't trade them for the world....but man, just to pee by myself would be nice! LOL

Jessica (me) 31, Adam 30, Em almost 11, Liv almost 3, Addie 1 Baby #4 due March 24th!

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Blukoolaid5

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

#2

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Posts: 6498

10/01/2007 5:47 PM

We built her an Army!

I am so sorry hun!! You are ovewhelled and it is so hard to SAH by yourself with children and no adult contact, no YOU time.. I did it after I had my 2nd son and I pretty much drove myself to the verge of a nervous breakdown.. we just moved to a new city didn't know anyone, DH worked from 6pm till 6 am then slept ALL day while I Tried to keep the kids quiet and went STIR CRAZY.... after 8 months I HAD TO go get a job for my own sanity!!
Have you tried checking around town for different support groups... out local wic office holds different classes everyday (they are right next to us/I work for the city) they do cooking classes for the moms and they actually watch the kids FOR THEM while they get to know other moms in the community, they hold classes for the kids ... like play groups? and its their time to go "wild" they do a lot for them... all different stuff (we get to smell the food when they are holding those classes and it drives us CRAZY!! :lol

)
don't feel stupid for writing what you did... you needed to get it out... even if to just get it off your head and "on paper" sort of thing... what about your local churches? they usually will have postings of the teenage children that babysit and my daughters daycare does parents night out the last Friday of every month... you pay them, like for my 4 its 40.00 and they watch your kids from like 8pm till 12am ... they come in (the teachers) and volunteer their night to make some extra money and give the parents a nice break.... check around there has to be something .......
you need to get out... even with the tantrums... let them run wild at a park while you read a book or something ... :hugs

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mommieof2girls

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/01/2007 5:52 PM

Mommy of 3 girls!

I just went and picked up 2 of Em's friends to come over for a bit. They have both of the little ones in her room with them. Ahhhhh....quiet for a bit.

I think to make it worse, our satelite is out! YIKES....everyone is bored. lol

I wish we had a park close that I didn't have to pack everyone up and drive somewhere and go. I don't know if our WIC office does that. I have never heard of that....They are just a little office in the health department here.

I do need out though. Adam does too. He is so burnt out at work. We both need a good break! Just sucks having to pay a ton to have someone watch them and then to go out. We dont' need to spend money like that. lol

Jessica (me) 31, Adam 30, Em almost 11, Liv almost 3, Addie 1 Baby #4 due March 24th!

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Blukoolaid5

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/01/2007 10:35 PM

We built her an Army!

Girl, I wish I was closer to you!!! I really do... I have always felt this connection to you... I think its the whole Jessica thing and my little Candace Cameron... I would SOOOOOOOOOOOOO watch those girls for you!!!! they are all so close in age mine and yous I know they would have a BLAST together.. and I would get such a kick off of them playing together!!!!

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impreggosagain

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/02/2007 7:30 AM

I wish we were closer. I'll give my secret on how to get some free time.

I get up around 8 on Saturday mornings and get dressed. Dh asks me "where are you going" I say "Out...alone" I go get nails done or shopping or just walk around the mall alone and I tell you it is the best 3 hours a woman could ask for. As a woman you need time to yourself, take it. Steal it! :lol

You need your sanity for those babies. Tell you Dh that he is just going to have to watch them babies while you get some time to yourself.

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mommababyboy

Re: Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/02/2007 12:06 PM

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Im with peaches.. u hvae to have a life baby... not saying diss your kids or not partying like a rockstar but u have to have a day for u... a few hours at least. if not you're going to go crazy! since your dd wont let u do anything without her plan something when she's in bed.. u have to make some u time.. i have 3 kids with very busy schdules but i still make time to hang out with my friends etc...

sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed! :bighug

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Laineys Momma

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/02/2007 12:29 PM

My DH works nights (roughly 9pm-9am 4 nights a week and 5pm-5am two nights) so I can certainly relate to the 'attempting' to keep children quiet (umm right a 3 year old and 2 -21 month olds :lol

) so he can sleep. It is VERY rarely that I get time to myself without me feeling HORRID about it and now Shelby has started this whole "screaming' thing whenever I leave the house...it is just heartbreaking. Add the stress of being a SAHM to being pregnant and overwhelmed becaues I also take 13 credits of college courses and I am just 'shot' by the end of the day.

:hug

I would seek out a local MOMS Club... I am a member of one and some days it is my saving grace!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Mother's love cannot be measured by increments of time...an entire lifetime of love can be squeezed into a few brief miraculous moments when necessary..."

Me-Kristin-26
Dh-Chad 29
DDs Delainey-3 and Twins Shelby and Avery-1
DS #1 Brody due 12/29/07

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mommieof2girls

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/02/2007 4:47 PM

Mommy of 3 girls!

Awww, girls. I love you all. Jess, I sure wish you lived closer. I would love to hang out. I would love to be close to all of you!!!!

Well, you will be proud of me. lol I got my 10 year old (my little Candace Cameron) on the bus...got dressed...woke DH up and told him that I was leaving for a while. I just went to Walmart and a big once a year consignment sale but I did get out for about 3 hours. Of course I called home about 5 times...lol. And DH has been out golfing now for about 4 hours! LOL

BUT, I did get out for a bit.

I tried to hint to MIL that I would like to go out Friday to the sale...everything will be 1/2 off then! And she just invited herself to go with me instead of offer to watch the girls. LOL Oh well....maybe I can go anyway and find a bargin

I do have to do something or I will go insane. I have been a SAHM for 3 years now and man this can be tough at times! lol I don't want to work though! lol I am still needing a break with my DH too....will have to sweet talk that precious baby sitter that watched them once before! lol

Jessica (me) 31, Adam 30, Em almost 11, Liv almost 3, Addie 1 Baby #4 due March 24th!

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mommieof2girls

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/02/2007 6:12 PM

Mommy of 3 girls!

I am going to have to do more. My DH has got to where he goes and golfs at least 2 times a week!!! Not to mention it costs us money, but I am left with the kids more by myself. Can you tell I am pissed at him now? LOL He has been gone for over 5 hours, I just called and told him that I don't have any dinner cooked....lol....guess he will have to stop and get something. I am just going to start leaving every stinking morning that he doesn't work! LOL

Jessica (me) 31, Adam 30, Em almost 11, Liv almost 3, Addie 1 Baby #4 due March 24th!

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gkmt50

Re: Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/02/2007 9:53 PM

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Jessica - I don't have 3.5 kids making me :nuts

but I feel your :crazy

pain. DH leaves early every morning to work out for TWO hours and go to work, and then two days a week he goes to school after work. My mom does live next door, so she does help out, but it is hard to ask her to be here all the time. I mean, I do have her here because I need the adult interaction, and when she isn't here I am wondering how I would handle it if she wasn't here (she went away for a week, so I know I am capable of it :snicker

)

Anyway, I do get to sleep in (my 'me' time :lol

) on Sat because I just don't get up with the kids... dh is forced to. :BEG

But I would so do what Peaches does if I wasn't opting for sleep :rollin

Is there a Chuck E Cheese or other Family Fun place nearby? CEC doesn't have to cost money, you can go and just have the kids play in the tubes and slides. We have a place here that is only 2-3$ for the whole day to let them play in the tubes and ball pits etc.

Too bad MIL didn't get what you were saying earlier!!! :goincrazy

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bubbleboymom

Re: Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/02/2007 10:46 PM

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Well, I'm a single mom of three, so I absolutely now how you feel. It's hard to find someone to watch all three of them, one of mine is a special needs child, so even if I find someone, it's hard for them to understand his needs.
It can be overwhelming at times :yep

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RealtorTTC

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

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10/03/2007 8:52 AM

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awww Jess I just want to give you a big hug!! You seem like the sweetest person ever and I know that you must feel so scared right now feeling how overwhelmed you are with 3 and knowing another is on the way...........its got to be hard sometimes. But I totally agree that you have got to have some time alone.

Your DH wanted to have another baby too and you have to commit to having at least a few hours alone a few times a week..........I know your toddler screams but you stay at home so they get plenty of time with you...........she will get over your being gone and will handle it better if she gets practice........

Hire that darn babysitter while DH is at work.......or while he is out golfing...........men wont let themselves get too burned out they will make sure they get out and get a break........at all costs they will take care of themselves...........I think you should do the same........

When he is at work bring the sitter over and you can either work around your house or get out of the house and go for a walk, go shopping, or just go sit at the park and have a picnic alone.........take a good book and lose yourself in that book for a while. Go in your room and close the door and take a freaking 5 hour nap! Or do all of the above if you need to! Your DH is gone for 12 hours a day and he will need you when he gets home IMO so I would try and get my break while he is at work too...........that way you will be better rested and ready to nurture people again when he gets there.........

I am so sorry because I know how hard this is...........I have been way stressed out before too and if I didnt have a job I dont know what Id do............and I have my sitter come in the mornings around 9 am and then I get dressed by myself and go to work...........but if I didnt work I would still have her come a couple days a week for a few hours..........I feel for you sweetie :hugs

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mommieof2girls

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

#13

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10/03/2007 2:20 PM

Mommy of 3 girls!

I don't know of anyone around here that doesn't go to school or work. My baby-sitter works a full time job now.

lol

I am better today. DH is off work today, but has gone again to play golf with a friend. BUT today, I was glad to get his butt out of the house.

Jessica (me) 31, Adam 30, Em almost 11, Liv almost 3, Addie 1 Baby #4 due March 24th!

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RealtorTTC

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10/03/2007 8:32 PM

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I found a great sitter through my church...........maybe you could check there? Anyway, Im glad you are feeling better today

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gkmt50

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10/04/2007 1:01 AM

I think some churches do babysitting co-ops too, where time-in equals time-out... so you don't use money, you just trade babysitting time.

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navarreflmom

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10/16/2007 11:52 AM

Mom to 4 lil ones!

Jess I know how you feel. I get like that too, when I just need a break away from everyone. It is rare that I get time away from the kids or even to go out with dh without the kids. We do get out of the house every weekend that dh is not on call to do something whether we have the kids or not. I do want to say if your dh can get out and go golfing with his friends all the time, he can also stay home and watch the kids for you for a couple of hours so you can go have some time to yourself.

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Karah R

#17

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10/17/2007 9:34 AM

Mountain Mama

Check out MOPS, as well......like Moms Club but a little different. They have chapters everywhere, and meet at different times/places so you can find ones that are good fits for you (we have five different MOPS clubs in our city, which isn't that huge).

Beyond that....I'd have to say that you have to find activities that might interest you, and just tell DH you are going to go to X activity, and that he is free to pick any other time BUT that for his golfing or other activities. Even if it feels wierd to go do something where you might not know anyone at first....you HAVE to put yourself out there to get to know other people. I felt a little funny when I joined my women's running group because I knew nobody, and many of them already knew one another (well, not entirely true...I was acquainted with one lady, but nobody else beyond that). Now I'm acquainted with a whole bunch of them, and have several that I'm pretty close to-so I am SO glad I got out of my comfort zone to get to know a bunch of knew people.

Here's a link to MOPS
http://www.mops.org/

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Karah R

#18

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10/17/2007 9:38 AM

Mountain Mama

Okay....that should be NEW and not KNEW....I do know how to spell, I swear

:P

I'm getting an error message when I try to edit the original message.

Let me try the link again, too, because I see it's not hyperlinking....

MOPS

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mommieof2girls

#19

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10/19/2007 9:41 AM

Mommy of 3 girls!

Thanks guys! I did go yardsaling with DH's friend's wife last week. The guys watched the kids....of course DH called me twice while we were gone. He was tired of sitting there! LOL Oh well..... he was itching to go golfing of course! lol BUT I did stay out for about 5 hours that morning. Just have to turn the phone off next time! lol

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Karah R

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10/24/2007 12:21 PM

Mountain Mama

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Good for you! Sounds like fun.

And I agree...TURN OFF THE PHONE next time. They are his kids too, he helped make them, and it's perfectly reasonable for him to care for them for a few hours to give you a break with all you do already.

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Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?

Do any of you have NO outlet without the kids?