What am I suppose to do? in Family Feud Forum

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What am I suppose to do?

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ipodjunkie80	What am I suppose to do?		Lead	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 1494 03/19/2009 8:26 AM formerly Amberjoy	Tags : None Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ? Remove this ad Why? I repeat WHY are teenagers so difficult? Also, when does behavior go from "oh they're a teenager" to "they need help"? Taylor is seriously testing my patience. Since she started high school, she seems to be doing everything but actually working on her education. She's consumed with boys, won't do her homework and now after 3 truancy letters and DH and I having to go to a truancy conference, Taylor confesses that she's been ditching! I don't know what her problem is. Upon asking for details about the school skipping, she told us that her "friend" Jasmin called her 19 year old girlfriend (who is a total stranger to Taylor) and got in her car and went to someone's house. WTF!!??!?!? I am getting to the point that I seriously want to cut ties and leave until she's on her own. I love my husband, but I miss my sanity. I've contacted my insurance and have referals for therapist for myself. I need someone non-judgemental to talk to. Talking to my Mom does no good, because she just thinks because her biomom did drugs and stuff that her brain function is damaged. I seriously am ill over this stuff. I can't sleep, I am paranoid all the time waiting for the phone to ring. I can't sleep because I think she's going to run away again. UGH...sorry if this is all over the place, I have yet again only had 2 hours sleep tonight.
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mommababyboy		#1	[url]	[-]
Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 17018 03/19/2009 9:09 AM Three Buetful Girlz! Find me @ cs.yuku.com!	Baby I am so sorry your going thru this. I know exactly how you feel. I would get her evaulated, she needs some meds. I would let her take them and see how it goes. She needs therapy too. She misses her mom.. she wants attention that she's not getting from her mom from boys. Does your dh spend time with her like daddy and daughter time. She might need that too. I would also contact the school and authorities on what u can do when she's skipping school and running away. If she doesnt get on meds by refusing then I would show her tough love. when she's missing curfew etc. I would contact the authorities.. my mom did that to my sister and she straightened up.If you dont get a handle on her truancy it then you will be responsibile and could possibly go to jail( it is not your fault). I dont agree with how a parent can get in trouble for what their child is doing. You can also go to your regular doc and get a script for some antidepressants, they will also help you sleep... Your such an awesome mother honey. Taylor is lost and trying to find something. It is not your fault or dh's fault. You have also been a great mom to help. Please dont blame yourself. What is your dh saying and doing about all of this? Im praying for u. Pm me too if you need to talk to me.
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gkmt50		#2	[url]	[-]
Conception & So Much More ADMIN Titanium Member Over 40,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 50025 03/19/2009 10:34 AM	I don't have much advice other than maybe to check out the "Love and Logic" series - they have a book especially for dealing with teens. I really like this method for tots and it looks like it will be great for school-age... I haven't read the teen book so I don't have good answers for you. All I can say is that I made some mistakes and turned out ok. But I am definitely an under-achiever... I could have gone a lot further in this life if I'd applied myself in HS. I guess what I am saying is that chances are good she will be OK but she might not live up to her potential.... and that DOES SUCK! Good luck, sweetie. ......................................... Last Edited By: gkmt50 03/19/2009 8:54 PM. Edited 2 times.
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gkmt50		#3	[url]	[-]
Conception & So Much More ADMIN Titanium Member Over 40,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 50025 03/19/2009 10:35 AM	Here is a link: http://www.loveandlogic.com/ecom/p-145-parenting-teens-with-love-and-logic-updated-book.aspx .........................................
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mommababyboy		#4	[url]	[-]
Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 17018 03/19/2009 11:56 AM Three Buetful Girlz! Find me @ cs.yuku.com!	Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ? Remove this ad Im with TOni as far as not applying myself in h.s. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Even though it was there with my mom and stepdad. I needed my bad. I lost my g.ma too... I would def say I needed some meds back then.
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JenAndJerryForever		#5	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 502 03/22/2009 10:20 AM	Oh boy!!! I would say you are in the "they need help" category. Definitely seek the help of a professional, because I suspect you have or will have more than just a truancy problem. Having been an angry, lost teenager myself, I might wager that you need to be concerned about current or future drug use and unprotected sex -- things with far more serious consequences than truancy. I only have personal theories, but I believe the behavior is related to her self esteem (or lack thereof) and her relationship with her mother and father. No matter what -- I wish you the best of luck and hope that you can find the strength to stick it out with DH. I'm sure he really needs your emotional support right now. ((hugs)) Jen 38 DH 31 DS 21 DS #2 June 7, 2009 BFP October 1, 2008 3 Blasts on Ice IVF Retrieval Sept 17, 2008 Ectopic (ruptured) Nov '07 Miscarriage and D&C May '06 2 Ectopics '00 & '04 (I think) Countless chemical pregnancies 1 Miscarriage@ 8 wks '91 DS #1 August 27, 1988
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RealtorTTC		#6	[url]	[-]
Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 14325 04/12/2009 10:30 AM Find me @ cs.yuku.com!	Im really sorry. So, are you saying this is your stepdaughter? Honestly I dont know what Id do because Im not in your shoes yet but I think I would try to support my DH as much as possible and if he wasnt doing what was needed I would step in and do it myself. Can you call the mother and discuss this or would that be a bad idea? I definitely think she needs rules and consequences for this behavior. I would get into counselling (you, DH and her) and if they suggest meds then I would start those. However, sometimes people prescribe meds prematurely so I would try making sure she got plenty of one on one time with you and DH.............maybe take her to the park and take a long walk in the sunshine with her to discuss her life or just discuss anything that is non stressful for her...............that may get her to open up............ Also, maybe you and DH could take her to the movies and out to dinner or rent a couple of movies and watch it with her together just to spend one on one quality time with her. I have found with my teen that the more time I spend with her bonding with her the harder it is for her to treat me badly............I know its gonna get a lot harder and the older she gets the worse it will be but honestly teens need more one on one time with parents to help them along the way.............and you probably already do that so that may not be helpful at all to suggest it.............. Also I dont know your religion but I find it very helpful to take my teen to church.............I put the little kids in their Sunday School class and me and my teen go into church together and Im trying to get her more involved with the teen youth group at church. Im trying to get her enrolled in more activities with the church group so that I know her time is being spent in situations I approve of.............I also pray for her and for guidance for me because God knows I really need all the help I can get.............. I am so sorry you are going through this.
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mommababyboy		#7	[url]	[-]
Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 17018 04/13/2009 9:53 PM Three Buetful Girlz! Find me @ cs.yuku.com!	Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ? Remove this ad Reece, I totally agree with u. My dd has been mean to me and I couldnt believe it./ I mean ive done it all and more.. Were in counseling well im there for like 10minutes and then she has the other 50 minutes. Basically it was nothing I was doing. She's trying to find herself. She did want to spend more alone time together.. So tues nights are our nights together. We want College Hill and 90210. I bet its more difficult for Amber because as a step parent u have to wonder if their doing it because your not bio mom..and Amber take it harder than if you were bio mom..but that part isnt true. even though Amber has been more to her than a Bio mom. I would def try to find a step parent group so you know that your not alone. I was very hurt by some of the things dd tried to pull with me. The psychologist said no to take anything that say or do personal.. Def easier said than done. Raising teens are very hard...
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