Hi ladies,
I found out 2 weeks ago today that I miscarried at 7 1/2 weeks, and I had a D&C the next day. I've been handling things pretty well, I thought: this was my second miscarriage, but I have a beautiful daughter and I'm hopeful that I can get pregnant again soon despite my age.
My problem: one of my closest friends is 32 weeks pregnant with her first child. We work together, we talk almost every day. I've been her #1 support person thru a rather difficult pregnancy. Only now, I am having trouble filling that role. I still managed to put together her baby shower at work, which was exactly a week after my miscarriage (only 3 people at the shower knew I had miscarried, so it was not a really awkward situation, just emotionally not fun for me). Now she wants me to help her finish shopping for the baby, and tells me all kinds of details about what the baby is doing, etc.--things I would normally be excited about, but right now I just don't want to talk or think about. Yesterday she grabbed my hand and had me feel the baby moving and it was gut-wrenching. I find myself avoiding her phone calls and not wanting to see her at work. I am totally happy for her, but just like the last time I had my miscarriage, even seeing pregnant women in the grocery store is a kind of wrenching experience.
So now I feel like a very bad friend--I just can't be supportive right now, even though I gutted out her shower. I'm afraid that if I tell her that she will take it the wrong way, which is why I am mostly trying to avoid her. A mutual friend has offered to intervene and say something, but I don't know about that either.
I'm hoping that some of you have had to deal with a similar circumstance and may have some good advice for me!
Terri
I found out 2 weeks ago today that I miscarried at 7 1/2 weeks, and I had a D&C the next day. I've been handling things pretty well, I thought: this was my second miscarriage, but I have a beautiful daughter and I'm hopeful that I can get pregnant again soon despite my age.
My problem: one of my closest friends is 32 weeks pregnant with her first child. We work together, we talk almost every day. I've been her #1 support person thru a rather difficult pregnancy. Only now, I am having trouble filling that role. I still managed to put together her baby shower at work, which was exactly a week after my miscarriage (only 3 people at the shower knew I had miscarried, so it was not a really awkward situation, just emotionally not fun for me). Now she wants me to help her finish shopping for the baby, and tells me all kinds of details about what the baby is doing, etc.--things I would normally be excited about, but right now I just don't want to talk or think about. Yesterday she grabbed my hand and had me feel the baby moving and it was gut-wrenching. I find myself avoiding her phone calls and not wanting to see her at work. I am totally happy for her, but just like the last time I had my miscarriage, even seeing pregnant women in the grocery store is a kind of wrenching experience.
So now I feel like a very bad friend--I just can't be supportive right now, even though I gutted out her shower. I'm afraid that if I tell her that she will take it the wrong way, which is why I am mostly trying to avoid her. A mutual friend has offered to intervene and say something, but I don't know about that either.
I'm hoping that some of you have had to deal with a similar circumstance and may have some good advice for me!
Terri
