WHY? in Coping with Loss Forum

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Sammy Anne	WHY?		Lead	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 678 07/20/2009 8:38 AM Member	Tags : None Remove this ad I never thought that this would happen to me!! Right now I am so mad and sad.. I just wish this never happened. Does the feeling of loss ever go away? I feel like know one really understands. They all say well its probably for the best. There was something wrong with the baby. I DONT CARE!! I just wish that it didn't happen and that the baby was healthy and still growing in my womb. F! I hate feeling so weak. I hate people to see my pain, but i dont think that i can hide it. I wish that someone told me that a miscarriage hurt so much. It broke my heart into a hundred pieces. And the physical pain was not anything i ever expected. My poor baby is gone and i feel empty... and I am more sorry than ever to everyone that has gone through this. You never really know until you do. Thanks for letting me get this out. There is know where else to do it. Me ( Samantha ) 26 Dh ( Nathan ) 29 DS ( Jaeden ) 3 DD ( Elizabeth ) 10 months http://samanthaannemoore.blogspot.com/ Last Edited By: Sammy Anne 07/21/2009 6:13 PM. Edited 1 time.
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jcvp		#1	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 2119 07/20/2009 12:41 PM Member	You are absolutely correct! It is the hardest thing to go thru. The feelings do get better - it's been 2 months for me and I still feel them, but they are MUCH better! It's more painful when I'm around other people that are pregnant or just don't understand what you are going thru... Hugs... DeAnn DeAnn 1 Angel 6/2005 My beautiful daughter - 12/2007 Twin Angels 5/2009 9 Frozen Embryos Still Waiting... My handsome son - 8/2010
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tracydeniel		#2	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 6808 07/20/2009 1:44 PM Mom to Jordanne and Autumn!	I'm so very sorry for your loss. People saying that it was for the best is not what a person needs to hear while they are grieving. I actually feel guilty reading these posts because I had an early m/c at 6 weeks with what would have been my third child (Noah is now my third) and I was sad for a day or so but really didn't get emotional and rarely think about it. I'm kind of embarrssed to say that I don't even remember the date it happened. I think perhaps I'm abnormal in my reaction but I think your pain will definitely lessen with time. Hugs-Take care. Jordanne Kailey-Feb.14, 2004 -I'm 7!!! Autumn Katherine-Jan.15, 2006 -I'm 5!!! Noah Riley-May 28, 2008 -I'm 2!!! Tracy-32- Fortunate to be a SAHM! DH-32
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Padme Marie		#3	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 5475 07/21/2009 1:09 PM	The loss of one's child no matter in the womb or out regardless of development is devistating. It has been a little over 2 years since I lost my baby boy, I still grieve for him in my heart but life must carry on. Carrying on does not mean we forget. The first weeks and months are SO hard and people make insensitive comments, but just know too they do not mean to be. People can not know what that kind of loss it is until it happens to them and sometimes even when it has they can say things that seem insensitive because they are in a different stage of healing. It also depends on the woman as well.My mother in law who lost 2 babies told me it was no big deal when I lost mine because it is life and you pick up and go on and it was meant to be, but that is the time period she is from, they were not sensitive to that at all back then. I am so sorry sweetheart, you will feel better in time but you will not forget and you are not meant to. What helped me was to have a kind of memorial with my immediate family. We had a funeral Mass for him, we have his us pic framed and put in our living room with a picture of his big brother. We talk about him as a family member we will meet in heaven. My older son was 9 when this happened so he understood more. You can let balloons into the sky with a letter to your little one, pick a special place to talk to them, anything that lets you have some peace with it. HUG. Heading towards 18 years with my best friend Ryan David Edward Me 44, DH 42, DS,13
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gkmt50		#4	[url]	[-]
Conception & So Much More ADMIN Titanium Member Over 40,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 50025 07/22/2009 6:26 PM	I still think about my losses and am sad. I didn't ever feel emotionally torn up though, I am one of those people that rationalizes that there are worse situations than mine. I am not saying that THAT is how you should be, I am just saying everyone deals with loss differently. I guess I just feel so blessed right now with all that I have that I tried not to dwell. I pray that your feelings of loss lessen in time and wish you peace That being said, I am not sure I can handle going thru another loss. I mean, if I have another loss, I will probably just stop TTC. .........................................
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Sammy Anne		#5	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 678 07/24/2009 12:37 PM Member	Remove this ad its one week after I found out that my baby died. I feeling sad still. I am so scared that this will happen agian, I want to have 4 kids.. But what if this happens again? I am not sure that I can handle it. My husband keeps tellingme that I am strong and that no mattr what we willhave 4 and not to worry, But I can't helo it. I just wish this didn't happen. Why do these things have to happen. I am so MAD! Me ( Samantha ) 26 Dh ( Nathan ) 29 DS ( Jaeden ) 3 DD ( Elizabeth ) 10 months http://samanthaannemoore.blogspot.com/
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gibsonbaby06		#6	[url]	[-]
Gold Member Over 10,000 posts !!! Oldtimer Posts: 12307 07/25/2009 10:02 PM Find me @ cs.yuku.com!	well when I m/c I felt the same as you. I dont remember the dates off the top of my head but I was keeping a PG journal of the m/c that I had and I was 8wks along. I do remember it was on a Monday I had the u/s and then 2 days later I m/c. I saw the bean and heard the heartbeat. I dont get too emotional about it, but I do sometimes wonder what that little bean was or what would have happened if I hadnt m/c. but if I didnt m/c then I wouldnt have Mallory or maybe not Collin, who knows?? You just have to stop and be thankful for the 2 you do have. and if and when you get PG again, you will worry constantly, I did with Mallory and Collin it will get better.
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brianjen		#7	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 6175 07/27/2009 11:46 AM Nolen and Sammuel's mom!	I had 2 kids and then a m/c then got pg before I had a cycle. I had those same thoughts about what if I can't carry a baby anymore. The empty feeling is horrible. Praying that you get preggos again right away....
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Caellach99		#8	[url]	[-]
Mod I can help you! Oldtimer Posts: 6390 07/27/2009 12:41 PM	Sammy Anne wrote: its one week after I found out that my baby died. I feeling sad still. I am so scared that this will happen agian, I want to have 4 kids.. But what if this happens again? I am not sure that I can handle it. My husband keeps tellingme that I am strong and that no mattr what we willhave 4 and not to worry, But I can't helo it. I just wish this didn't happen. Why do these things have to happen. I am so MAD! I had a stillbirth 4yrs ago. The pain has never went away but it has lessened over the years. I still have bad days where I get depressed and cry alot. To be honest, that will never go away. Just like you, I was afraid to have more kids because I was so afraid I'd loose another child. The child that we lost was our 1st. The turning point for me was my desire to have more kids out weighed the fear of loosing another. That's when I knew I was really ready to try again. The last 2 pg's went just perfect. I can't handle another loss and I believe God knows that. I'm not as strong as many women on this board that have had many losses. You just have to let go and allow God to work in His way. From experience, I know that He will only give you what you can handle, even tho it sometimes feel that we can't. Trusting God isn't easy. BELIEVE me, it's not. The line in Gideon - The VeggieTales movie. The Angel says something like, "I respect you because of your faith in God." "Angels get to see God everyday so we know how awesome and wonderful He is. You, you are trusting and putting your faith in someone you've never met or talked to" I don't know the exact line but it's the jist of it. You will have more children and I'm sure everything will turn out just fine. Forgive those who say "it's for the best" and stupid things like that. They don't understand nor can they understand the depth of pain and suffering of loosing a child. Nobody understands until they have been through that hell. IMO, loosing a child IS hell on earth. My love and heart goes with you. Much love and may God light your path. Last Edited By: Caellach99 07/27/2009 12:53 PM. Edited 1 time.
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nadya25		#9	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 3321 07/27/2009 4:25 PM Mama to Shell, Mike & Alex	I so agree with that statement Heather! I had 2 losses and I am still sad I lost those babies - though it is no where near as sad as I was for those months after. The losses happened after our first child and the want to grow our family outweighed miscarrying. I always thought there was no way I could go through it again and luckily I didnt have to, but we knew in our hearts we still wanted to try for more kids. this time is very hard for you and your dh. And you are right that no one fully understands what you are going through unless they have been there. Take care sweetie DIAPERS.COM $10 off code: NADYA25
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squeakers2		#10	[url]	[-]
Oldtimer Posts: 1917 07/29/2009 8:31 PM	Remove this ad I wish I had some wonderful words to help but I don't. I can say that although I still miss and yearn for my babies, it is easier as time passes. I will never forget them but the pain is not so overwhelming. I am so sorry you have to go through this. ((hugs))
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