another loss in Coping with Loss Forum

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windys1975

another loss

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Posts: 2101

09/01/2009 8:28 AM

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I know it sounds like I'm in denial, but I'm not.
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hi all,
i'm here to say i just had my 2nd loss since may, i lost my first one at 8w1d naturally. this one i'm going to have a D&C. never had one before so i have no idea how i am going to deal with it. i had an u/s yesterday and thought for sure the baby was fine since i was 11 weeks along. come to find out the baby had stopped growing 3 weeks ago and no heart beat. and no sign of m/c on my own so the doctor told me it would be best to get a d&c done. i still feel very pregnant i'm just now going pee alot and my breasts this morning just got huge. along with all my other pg symptoms. i can't believe my baby is dead i keep telling myself the doctors are wrong and my baby is just fine. so maybe i should get a second ultrasound thursday before my d&c. but then i think it's no point and just get it done and over with and stop holding onto false hope. i am so emotionally messed up right now and i can't even think right now. i just want to go to sleep and wake up and find that all of this was just a nightmare.
thanks for letting me vent.

Windy(36)
DH Jason(42)
Misty (16)
Nakita(9)
Dakota (2)

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nadya25

#1

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Posts: 3321

09/01/2009 9:29 AM

Mama to Shell, Mike & Alex

I am so sorry

DIAPERS.COM $10 off code: NADYA25

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jcvp

#2

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Posts: 2119

09/01/2009 12:24 PM

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I am so sorry also! I have had 2 d&c's - my first one was a breeze (no spotting afterwards) and my second one was recently - was not a breeze - suffered hemorreging about 4 days after the procedure...But, there were twins in the last one... Are you going to get the baby tested to see why it passed away? I would do that since this is your second loss this year...
Once again, I am so sorry - it completely sucks and you have every right to feel the way that you feel.

DeAnn
*1 Angel 6/2005
My beautiful daughter - 12/2007
*Twin Angels 5/2009
9 Frozen Embryos Still Waiting...
My handsome son - 8/2010

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windys1975

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Posts: 2101

09/01/2009 7:54 PM

yes i am going to get testing done and also see what the gender was. i really don't think i'm going to get the recheck on the heart beat. i am pretty sure if they didn't see a heart beat it's pretty much gone, knowing i was that far along and the baby being about 9 weeks there should be no way to not see a heart beat. i could see if i was 4-5weeks along. so how would i put down the death date since i don't know for sure when the baby died.
do i just do it for when i have the D&C?

Windy(36)
DH Jason(42)
Misty (16)
Nakita(9)
Dakota (2)

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jcvp

#4

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Posts: 2119

09/02/2009 7:52 AM

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That's what I did - the date that I had the d&c...

DeAnn
*1 Angel 6/2005
My beautiful daughter - 12/2007
*Twin Angels 5/2009
9 Frozen Embryos Still Waiting...
My handsome son - 8/2010

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windys1975

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Posts: 2101

09/02/2009 8:37 AM

thanks
this is so hard i have been crying on and off this morning, knowing that tomorrow my baby will be gone out of my body. i was not expecting this at all. i was 11 weeks and just thought everything was going good since i got past my m/c date from my last pg. as soon as i heard the doctor say they didn't see a heartbeat my mind just froze.
and then they asked me if you have any questions. like i could really think after hearing all that.
right now i am just wanting to get it done and over with so i can move on. is that wrong of me to think like that?
also i am really pissed off at everything and want to know answers why it keeps happening.

Windy(36)
DH Jason(42)
Misty (16)
Nakita(9)
Dakota (2)

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jcvp

#6

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Posts: 2119

09/02/2009 11:03 AM

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I'm so sorry! It is absolutely the worst thing that could ever happen to someone. I completely understand. I cried and cried and cried and sobbed and sobbed. I still cry when I think about that ultrasound day when the dr. told us the hearts had stopped beating - I had just seen the heartbeats 1 week before! I have decided that I am taking a break with ttc until November/December - I feel like my hormones are still not normal and I am just needing a break. Maybe it would be a good idea to take a small break as well - it will help your mind and your body to heal faster and get some answers... Have you done any immune testing?

DeAnn
*1 Angel 6/2005
My beautiful daughter - 12/2007
*Twin Angels 5/2009
9 Frozen Embryos Still Waiting...
My handsome son - 8/2010

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countrymom1104

#7

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Posts: 7234

09/02/2009 11:19 AM

Awaiting my sticky bean

I am sorry Windy for your loss. I too have had 2 m/c's one was natural and the other involved a D & C. If there is anything I can answer for you please let me know ((hugs)).

Please know you aren't alone ((hugs))

Sharon

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windys1975

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09/02/2009 3:41 PM

I know it sounds like I'm in denial, but I'm not.
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jcvp wrote:
Have you done any immune testing?

what's that? i know i probably got pg too soon after my last m/c so that could be another factor.
i am also going on a break for a yr. i just don't want to wait too long because of my age and also that i have PCOS. it took us almost 4 yrs trying to get our son. so i don't want to wait another 4 yrs to have another baby.
this is my dh first baby our son and now he feels like he will only have one child. but i know since we got one already then i am sure i can have another with him.

Windy(36)
DH Jason(42)
Misty (16)
Nakita(9)
Dakota (2)

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windys1975

#9

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09/02/2009 3:45 PM

thanks sharon

Windy(36)
DH Jason(42)
Misty (16)
Nakita(9)
Dakota (2)

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gkmt50

#10

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Posts: 50024

09/03/2009 2:01 PM

I'm sorry Windy.

A similar thing happened to me in 2008, I guess you can see the angel ticker in my siggy. It says "with us for 9w5d" (I think) timed to the D&C. I hadn't gotten my hopes up with the pregnancy because 1-they had a hard time finding the

the first u/s and 2-At the second u/s there was a hb but the baby was growing slowly.

I also had the tissue tested, and found out it was a 100% genetically normal little girl

I tried many more IUI cycles in the past year, and this year had a blighted ovum... afterward we decided to move onto IVF and at that point I demanded immune testing. Found out I have a couple problems so supposed to take aspirin and extra folic acid. I took aspirin with my first pregnancies (just for the heck of it) and maybe extra vitamins then

and I guess the immunity problems might have contributed to my m/c last year?

Good luck and again I am so sorry for your loss.

.........................................

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windys1975

#11

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Posts: 2101

09/03/2009 4:56 PM

well it's over, i'm glad it's over but sad that they won't do any testing on the fetus.
i'm on three different types of medicine's antibiotic, motrin and some uterus contraction medicine.
i feel really nauseated right now and still feel sleepy. which is why i am going to lay down for awhile.
i have to go back to my doctor in 2 weeks for a follow up.
ttyl

Windy(36)
DH Jason(42)
Misty (16)
Nakita(9)
Dakota (2)

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bebe2006

#12

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Posts: 6529

09/03/2009 6:27 PM

Im so sorry for your loss, Windy

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impreggosagain

#13

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Posts: 6084

09/06/2009 11:18 AM

I am sorry for your loss honey

I hope you are feeling a little bit better, physically anyway. Emotionally its okay to not be okay...it takes time.

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windys1975

#14

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Posts: 2101

09/07/2009 7:13 AM

thanks ladies
it's so great to have support when you need it the most. physically i'm still contracting and cramping alot and really freaking tired more tired then the normal. the bleeding has been not so bad it's been light to spotting. unlike the last m/c which was natural. emotionally i'm fine also which it very weird. it's not hit me as hard as the first one. maybe because i didn't see this one come out of me. i mean i have my moments where i cry then i just stop after about 15 mins and i'm back to my normal self. but i do try and keep my mind off of it. if i didn't i'm sure i would bawl my eyes out every second.
thanks everyone

Windy(36)
DH Jason(42)
Misty (16)
Nakita(9)
Dakota (2)

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tracydeniel

#15

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Posts: 6808

09/22/2009 9:38 PM

Mom to Jordanne
and Autumn!

I know it sounds like I'm in denial, but I'm not.
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I'm so sorry. It's good to hear that you are handling it well, but don't be afraid to cry. Take care of yourself.

Jordanne Kailey-Feb.14, 2004 -I'm 7!!!
Autumn Katherine-Jan.15, 2006 -I'm 5!!!
Noah Riley-May 28, 2008 -I'm 2!!!

Tracy-32- Fortunate to be a SAHM!
DH-32

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