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My doctor called me this morning.  He wanted to see how I was doing.  He was also very surprised that they had not done an u/s yesterday, so he scheduled one today.  I asked about my hcg levels, but apparently they don't normally check them...or at least they don't normally do a quantitative.  He says that they usually just take the woman's word that she had a pos hpt.

Went in for an u/s at 10:45.  The u/s from the 24th measured the sack at 4w 1d.  It looked healthy.  The u/s from today measured the sack at 4w 3d and collapsing.    It was also detached and toward the bottom of my uterus.

He said that about 50% of m/c are due to genetic defects.  This time, however, it appears as though the implantation bleeding that they saw in the first u/s was just too much and it overwhelmed the pregnancy, causing our baby not to be able to implant well enough.  The blood basically washed it away.  He gave me an option of a d & c, meds to speed it up naturally, or just to let nature take it's course.  I went ahead and took the meds...then I had to explain to them at the pharmacy why I was filling a prescription for it since they had me on record as being pregnant from where I had filled my prenatals.

I think it would almost be easier to deal with if he thought that it had occurred because of a genetic defect.  I'm finding it a bit harder to deal with knowing that the baby was seemingly perfect and that it was my body bleeding too much which didn't allow the baby to survive.

We're sad, but all in all, we're doing okay.  We are looking to God for comfort through this.  We know that we live in a fallen world, therefore bad things happen that we cannot explain.  Gabriella is too young to really "get" it.  We've told her, but she's 3 and doesn't totally understand.  She can tell you that the baby isn't in my belly anymore and that the baby is in heaven, but head knowledge is as far as it goes, which is a blessing, I think.